Sadly, there are many Jims out there. You describe the way he love bombed you, and how he groomed you, as you experienced it, so we could be right there alongside you. It's what these individuals do so well. I hope everyone reads your memoir, to better understand the way these people operate. Your vulnerability in sharing this is important for others to understand the realities.
Thank you so much, Joy - and so true unfortunately about the "many Jim's." I've appreciated the way you've read through the whole thing - it's been difficult in some ways to write it but a healing experience to feel supported by my readers. Thanks again!❤️
Wow. I see how you were easy prey for Jim. How disturbing to discover many years later how you had been one of his early victims. Ew. Every episode is so compelling to read!
Thanks , Jill! It was indeed disturbing, something I'm still coming to terms with. This is the next to last chapter of this memoir, l think! Thanks so much for being such a consistent supporter - l appreciate you!
“Truly, malleable and in some ways almost childlike, I was just his type, having been groomed and prepared by my fundamentalist high school, the generational trauma that was part of my inheritance, and the Nazarene Church.“ This hits home!
Not exactly - it's a term that even Nazarenes are confused by, but it means having been filled by the Holy Spirit, they no longer have the desire to sin. Their "inclination" is only toward righteousness and in the moment they are sanctified they are "perfected in Christ." They have been restored to the perfect holiness that Adam and Eve experienced before they chose to sin. (In my experience, it's another way for Nazarenes to judge each other and everyone else - some are more perfect and obedient and closer to God than others.)
Heavy sigh. I knew Jim in college and know that familiar approach from a boy we grew up with at College Church, the slickest and most persistent of predators, and at a much earlier age, and I can’t help wanting to shine a light on how I believe the repressive evangelical conservative culture BREEDS exactly this kind of repeat offender in the milieu which also perpetuates the naïveté of the perfect victim…like you…like me.
I am sorry for all of us who fell for the ploy and were harmed by it.
Thank you! This gets to the heart of it: “What is more difficult, to intelligently manage a part of me that I'm aware of or a part of me that I deny exists?”
I'm beginning to think we are twins separated at birth.
Linda, l know what you mean!
Sadly, there are many Jims out there. You describe the way he love bombed you, and how he groomed you, as you experienced it, so we could be right there alongside you. It's what these individuals do so well. I hope everyone reads your memoir, to better understand the way these people operate. Your vulnerability in sharing this is important for others to understand the realities.
Thank you so much, Joy - and so true unfortunately about the "many Jim's." I've appreciated the way you've read through the whole thing - it's been difficult in some ways to write it but a healing experience to feel supported by my readers. Thanks again!❤️
So glad you found your voice 💛 and that you’re using it!
Thank you, Meg! And thank you for reading!
Wow. I see how you were easy prey for Jim. How disturbing to discover many years later how you had been one of his early victims. Ew. Every episode is so compelling to read!
Thanks , Jill! It was indeed disturbing, something I'm still coming to terms with. This is the next to last chapter of this memoir, l think! Thanks so much for being such a consistent supporter - l appreciate you!
“Truly, malleable and in some ways almost childlike, I was just his type, having been groomed and prepared by my fundamentalist high school, the generational trauma that was part of my inheritance, and the Nazarene Church.“ This hits home!
I have a tangential question: you mention ‘entire sanctification’ in this post. Is there a sense in which this means the person can never sin again?
Not exactly - it's a term that even Nazarenes are confused by, but it means having been filled by the Holy Spirit, they no longer have the desire to sin. Their "inclination" is only toward righteousness and in the moment they are sanctified they are "perfected in Christ." They have been restored to the perfect holiness that Adam and Eve experienced before they chose to sin. (In my experience, it's another way for Nazarenes to judge each other and everyone else - some are more perfect and obedient and closer to God than others.)
Heavy sigh. I knew Jim in college and know that familiar approach from a boy we grew up with at College Church, the slickest and most persistent of predators, and at a much earlier age, and I can’t help wanting to shine a light on how I believe the repressive evangelical conservative culture BREEDS exactly this kind of repeat offender in the milieu which also perpetuates the naïveté of the perfect victim…like you…like me.
I am sorry for all of us who fell for the ploy and were harmed by it.
And thank you once again for your careful reading and support!❤️
Thank you for bringing that up - l think you are so correct about that, sadly enough and as you say, unfortunately indeed, for all of us who were the victims. I thought this was a decent beginning of that topic/conversation : https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/sexual-futurist/202011/sex-offenders-and-church
Thank you! This gets to the heart of it: “What is more difficult, to intelligently manage a part of me that I'm aware of or a part of me that I deny exists?”
Yes, l think you're right - and thanks again for your insightful comment!
I love your writing. Thank you so much for sharing!
Thank you so much for reading, Jackie!
another terrific excerpt.
Thanks so much, Russ!
@Ivy Sunderji Thank you for restacking!